It was Saturday, October 18, 2014, the day of my dad's BIG 60th birthday party, and my husband and I had an unexpected week that went from joyful to sorrow. On Wednesday, October 15th we experienced a miscarriage and unbeknownst to us, that day is the National Infant & Pregnancy Loss Awareness Day. Ironic? Yes, it was but it instantly made be feel not alone and a sense of community of support and encouragement, not to mention having the support of one of my dearest friends who also suffered a miscarriage and was able to help me through with her experience.
Fast forward to my dads birthday, my husband and I felt the desire to stay home as difficult of a decision that was. We told my parents the news and yet again, unbeknownst to my husband and I, that same day my mother received her diagnoses of breast cancer.
After I try to come to senses over my moms health, I felt God was shedding some light as to why we had a miscarriage. What daughter could be calm, stress-free and remain positive when their mother's health has taken a huge turn? Immediately, I become somewhat thankful. Thankful that God will only give me what I can handle and surely that must have been a circumstance that my health and the baby could not. My energy and focus shifted towards helping my mom. Non-stop researching on-line, making holistic cancer-fighting smoothies for her, educating myself and so forth. The process went rather quickly. The following month she had her invasive surgery and glory to God she has been declared CANCER FREE!
Earlier in the year I finally followed up with my doctor, it was seen in my blood-work from the miscarriage that my platelets were off and there was concern. I was then scheduled for more blood-work, after being asked a significant amount of health questions and having the appointment end with, "I'm also scheduling you to see an oncologist but do not be scared, you do not have cancer." My eyes enlarged and every part of my body could have just collapsed to the ground. Who ends a sentence with, "do not be scared, you do not have cancer"??? Then throw in the fact of what my family is going through with my mom. If you know me well, you most certainly know my mind raced and I could not get to Google any quicker -- yes, Google is very very bad in times as this. I quickly went to the computer then slowly made my way to bed with more fears and staying up all night praying...I had a lack of sleep every night from that point.
I'm now in the oncologists office waiting and the first glimpse of the doctor walking-in my emotions internally freak-out. She introduces herself, I reply with, "hello, I believe your my mothers doctor." See during one of my moms doctor visits my dad took a photo of my mom and the oncologist holding up a paper that read "cancer-free," my dad then texted me that photo. If it hadn't been for that, I would not have known. I asked God what is His purpose in this and to more than anything, give me the strength. The oncologist replies, "oh yes! She is my patient! Please tell her hello." I tell her that my mom doesn't know and the oncologist quickly completes my sentence, "you do not want her to stress." Yes, exactly.
After numerous questions that led my thoughts run wild and growing impatient with wanting direct answers right then and there, I leave the office only to go for more blood-work and with a stack of papers to read about this chronic disorder I am diagnosed with. My blood platelets are low. We all need platelets. Then I think back to the miscarriage and relate it to c-sections because I had one with my daughter and will need to have a c-section if we have children. C-sections are surgeries and blood platelets are hugely involved. After me and my bad habit of a friend (AKA Google), I become thankful yet again as God sheds light over the miscarriage. I asked both of my doctors how can I increase my platelets, about pregnancy and many other questions I had. The one answer that stuck out the most was when my doctor said, there isn't a way to increase them. I was so confused and thought, so this is it? My shoulders shrugged and thats kind of how they stayed for sometime.
I was mentally, emotionally and physically drained -- then throw in life, work, staying positive so my daughter has somewhat of a sane mother. I am not a quitter and I was not made to just let things be. I wanted to fight this through and was not going to be a factor of where this disorder could take me. More than anything else, I believe in miracles and had faith.
After doing lots of research, taking action and PRAYING... I go to the doctors office in May for a follow-up and blood-work. I asked God that even if my platelets went up by ONE number, it would be tremendous encouragement for me. My results showed that not only did it go up one number but it went up a total of FIVE! I was so encouraged to continue pressing on. Last week I went in again for blood-work and prayed that God would speak loud and clear with my results. He not only spoke, He yelled! My platelets went up FORTY points!!! Happy and astonished are understated words to how I felt hearing my results, my tears were so in shock that they froze and did not come bursting out of my eyes! Not only did my platelets increase by forty but my results rank me in the last lowest number in the bracket of what is considered healthy and normal. My goal is to continue to climb that number up till I am 100% in the TOP healthy and normal bracket, surpassing where I am right now.
There is so much more to this story and so much more that has yet to unfold - like of my mothers surgery that is coming up, but God has proven even in these challenging and unexpected times that greater is He.
I have always been known as being positive and optimistic but this season was very trying. Leaning on God for me to keep the positive, the faith, the good and His purpose was my only hope. When I felt I was losing it and faith, I leaned harder on Him that he would help me find hope, faith, the good and energy to press-on.
Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me. Your rod and your staff protect and comfort me.
LESSON: "Life" will always throw us unexpected curveballs but it is what you do with it. When it comes down to it, we have two options:
ONE - Give in and give up on life. Roll-in all the negative thoughts and let it consume you. Let life dwindle away and sink into that little black hole.
TWO - Fight, even if you're on your knees swinging. Have faith and stay positive, especially during the times those little whispers enter your ear to give up and how it is so impossible. Press and lean wholeheartedly on Him and I promise you will make it through. You will see the shimmer of light at the end of the tunnel, and that light will have you sprinting and throwing huge punches at life till the final bell rings, leaving you jumping with your arms in the air - declaring victory and you the champion!
YOU RECOGNIZE A SURVIVOR WHEN YOU SEE ONE. YOU RECOGNIZE A FIGHTER WHEN YOU SEE ONE.
Let us all not only be a survivor but a FIGHTER.